The video link in my previous post and the ongoing crisis for the Palestinian people, makes me think that it is time for Pink Floyd to re-release Another Brick In The Wall.

Perhaps, a concert in the Gaza Strip too.

Then the worlds Media may begin to report the horrendous conditions that Israel are forcing upon the people of the region.

The Wall now traps one and a half million people, creating the worlds biggest prison.

Lets hope that the New Labour Party dont get any ideas !

Tis a 'real' video depicting 'real' issues.
Not nice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GdvUUd4eKM

To forgive is divine - we are told.

Resentment and hatred leads to heartache and dis-ease.
Yet, how can we set aside the pain that others cause ?
Or, just as importantly, forgive OUR own selfish, greedy actions from the past ?

It is as difficult, or as easy, as we make it.

Looking back at my own troubles, it is clear that I enjoyed feeling miserable, or, at least, comfortable with my angst.
When things didnt run smooth, I could whine 'bigger boys' and blame others.
No-one to blame ?
Then I could whine 'poor me' and play the hapless 'victim'.

In all cases, I did not accept RESPONSIBILITY.

It is I and I alone who is responsible for my desires, deeds and emotions.
No-one else.
Two thirds of my life was spent making mistakes;
unconscious actions, without thought or regard.
I choose differently nowadays.

My deeds, even the majority of my words are chosen carefully.
I respect ALL and choose to offend NONE.
I am content with my self.
Only possible, by no longer beating myself up and FORGIVING my past.
Yes, it took time.
Time to understand, that if my actions in life caused no pain - I would feel no personal pain.
Simple.

Learning how to FORGIVE myself, however, was far easier than to FORGIVE others.
To FORGIVE others who have done wrong against Us, or the world does NOT mean that we forget.
Nor does it mean we have to welcome them back into our lives and hearts.

If people have hurt Us, for no other reason than because they can, they WILL suffer.
Their future guilt/karma begins to manifest as soon as we FORGIVE them.
When we FORGIVE we remove the Darkness that others have wanted for us.
They remain Dark while we step back into the Light.

So I believe.

Today is my youngest daughter's Birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRACE.

Love and Light be with you always.

Dad x

The new year has started well.
The patterns of behaviour I exhibit, that have kept me 'stuck' are quickly recognised and dealt with.
My mind is calm and my heart open - yahoo.

I notice it is not so for my friends.
For them, the year has started manically.
For a couple, life is forcing them to look at issues long buried.
Bless them, they are not running away and are learning new patterns.

Last week, I had a long conversation with a mate who has spent the last year trying to break old patterns.
Listening to him, made me realise what I was like when I started my personal growth.
It shocked me though I never said.

Like him, I had led a selfish, hedonist lifestyle.
Not able to commit to anything or anybody.
Why should I ?
It wasnt me with the problem !!

He feels that he has not moved forward at all, this year.
A lie he tells himself to keep him 'stuck'.
I pointed out his struggles and triumphs and his mood lightened.

As we ended the conversation, I remembered an exercise given to me by one of my healers and asked him to work through it.

I asked for a list of qualities that he believed people saw in him.
Wow.
When I wrote my list, way back when, it contained little that was good.
Because there was little good.

My friends list was the opposite.
Everything was positive.
It shocked me so much I couldnt say anything.

Only when we realise the consequences of our actions;
feel the pain of those we have pained;
admit that we can be as nasty and as selfish and as greedy
as those we profess to hate,
can we begin to change.

He doesnt and I worry for him.

My other friends are learning to fly.
I rejoice for them.

My friend was ranting this morning about nearly hitting a child, last night.

He explained that it was a poorly lit street and the child was wearing all black clothing.
He was in the middle of the road waiting for a gap in the traffic.

Worse, he observed, the child was only about 7 years of age.

I can only sympathise.

When I was a child it was hammered into me, by my parents and advertising campaigns - At Night Wear Something Bright.

If your clothing is dark, carry something light, even if it is only a newspaper.

BE SEEN.

BE SAFE.

Back to work.

We started back on the 2nd.
The rest of London was still asleep and traffic for a few days was non existent.

It feels good having survived Christmas.
There was none of my usual angst and I have just realised why.

Every Christmas, I would ride to Twickenham in the hope of catching a glimpse of my daughter.
My sadness would lead to anger at the sight of my ex mother in laws house and I would be in an emotional state for the rest of the period.

Not going this year has felt like a betrayal to Grace.
Stupid, I know.

But, so much easier on my head.

Well, for me at least.

I have spent most of the day thinking about the last year.

It has passed quite slowly; strange in itself.
(Time definitely speeds up in relation to your age)

There have been plenty of laughs, but also sadness with the death of my friend, Barry.
His death scared me a little, as I believed Barry to be as indestructible as I.

Another old friend has been battling Cancer of the Bowel.
My prayers to you, Jim.

Business at the workshop was very slow, as it appears to be for the whole of London.
(We survived by tightening our belts and in the end came through it, still smiling)

My relationship with my girlie gets better and better.
Ditto with my eldest Daughter.

Compared to previous years - it has been a bit flat.
Lacking in the sort of excitement I create for myself, every once in a while.
(Again a good thing, if you ask my friends - I am still unsure that I used to be that dangerous)

All in all - a GOOD year.

2008. Bring it on.

Love+Light to You+Yours